Maybe you're unhappy at work. And you're pretty dissatisfied with your life. Or you just thought you would be further along by now.

Regardless, you know that something needs to change. But one of the toughest parts has been dealing with all of the possibilities.

This was me every time I was bored with my life:

  • Should I get a new job?
  • Should we sell our house?
  • Should I go to grad school again?
  • Should we go on vacation?
  • Should I (fill-in-the-blank)?

The process of deciding what to do next was torturous. 

Typically, I would choose planning a vacation. Of course, I thought escaping my life for a week was the most fun choice. 

And, it distracts you from dealing with your life for a little while longer.

But because I wanted to stop wavering between options and start living my life... I developed these steps:

1. Acknowledge that infinite possibilities are always available.

Kite surfing in Thailand. Becoming a yoga teacher. Skydiving in the French countryside.

Even though you may not want to do any of these doesn't mean they aren't available to you. 

If you wanted to go kite surfing in Thailand, I am sure you could figure out how to do it. You're smart, capable and resourceful.

However, just because you have millions of options doesn't mean you have to do all of the them. The key is discerning between what you want and what you don't.

2. Recognize what you don't want.

Now that you have a list of infinite possibilities, you can easily cross of the stuff that you absolutely do not want to do.

For example... even though you love going to yoga, maybe being the teacher sounds like your personal hell.

If that's the case, you don't have to do it. It's still among your infinite possibilities but you're choosing to eliminate it for now.

3. Explore what you do want.

Finding clarity on what you do want is one of the best ways to move forward.

When I'm getting the sense that I'm not really living my own life, I am usually reminded of this quote:

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
{Annie Dillard}

So, what do you want? You could start with these questions:

  • How do you want to feel as you begin and end each day?
  • What would you like your days and weeks to look like?
  • How do you want to spend your weekends?

Perhaps, you want to feel more adventurous. You don't mind heights. And traveling throughout France sounds like a dream come true.

In this case, skydiving in the French countryside may be the next logical step for you.

Your turn.

What do you know for you sure that you don't want to do? 

And what are you thinking you would like to look into doing?

 

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