I used to think that taking breaks was one of my weaknesses.
As a result,
I would skip lunch.
Pack my calendar at work.
And fill my free time with endless commitments.
Maintaining our house... Walking the dog... Grocery shopping... Exercising... Washing, drying and folding the laundry...
When I say everything had to be on my calendar, I really mean it.
When I was climbing the corporate ladder, I was constantly trying to find my limits—my edge.
I kept trying to answer questions like:
How far can you go?
Where was the edge?
How much can you get done?
I even went so far as to write an essay about my limits and weaknesses. Thankfully, I never published it. Because, now I can see how off it was.
According to many, including Oprah Winfrey,
"What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it."
So if we keep thinking about our weaknesses, limits and problems, we are just going to find more weaknesses, more limits and more problems.
In addition, when we try to fix ourselves, we are sending messages that we are broken.
But I challenge you with this:
Are you really broken? (Probably not.)
Do you actually need to be fixed? (Doubtful.)
Are you literally just being you? (YES!!!)
Dr. Seuss probably said it best:
"Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is youer than you."
So what can you do?
For one, stop judging the skills, talents, traits, capabilities and other characteristics that make you you.
If you stop saying that your presentation skills are bad and your work ethic is good, will anyone notice? (Likely not.)
What if you stop telling other people that you're a bad writer and you're good at taking care of others? (Probably nothing.)
I'm not saying that self-improvement is bad.
What I am proposing is that we reframe how we think about self-improvement.
Instead of fixing our problems, we think about becoming more of ourselves.
Think about it... as hard as you try, can you ever be your mom? Or your sister? Or your best friend?
Of course not!
Your friend is your friend and you are you.
All you really have control over is being yourself. So you might as well be more of you instead of striving to be someone you cannot become.
What areas of your life can you release your weaknesses and start becoming more of you?